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Mommy milk is important to me! So much that after 9 weeks of struggling with nursing my first born dear son, I took on the challenge of exclusively pumping. And I continued eping until I found out I was pregnant with #2 when he was 10 months old and we ran into unending allergy challenges.

I would not describe eping as difficult, although it required a huge commitment of time and worry. The hardest part for me was not knowing if I was doing enough to keep up my supply. The early days were more than hard….the never ending cycles of nursing, pumping, feeding, nursing, pumping, feeding. Battling a low supply, several rounds of thrush, weeks of cracked nipples, out of control hormones, a resented c-section, numerous unsuccessful visits with the lactation consultant and an unhappy baby at every feeding session. The exhaustion and the frustration mounted until I finally made the decision to focus on pumping. The decision was bitter sweet as I now had pure focus which gave me even more determination and motivation to succeed against the odds and what I had heard over and over from the many doctors and nurses. But on the other hand, I also felt as though I had failed myself as a woman and a mother and that I had deprived my baby of the ever special bond that resulted from nursing.

Once the decison was made, I stepped up to the challenge, pumping 12+ times daily in order to build my supply so that I could eliminate formula from our house! It got a lot easier as time went on and it became a big part of my daily routine. And when the time came to hang up the pumping horns, it was even more difficult for me than some of the early days of nursing.

And this next time with my dear daughter it has been much of the same and yet so different. I was obviously better prepared for battle this time. The battle against doctors, others opinions and my own body. This time, I would stand my ground and refuse to supplement. I would have Newman’s ointment, Motherlove, my Moby Wrap and my trusty Medela PISA ready to employ if needed. I would understand that the first month or so would be dedicated to nursing and building a supply at least as much as possible with another toddler at home. This time, things started off on the right foot as I Vbac’ed and got to nurse her immediately following her birth. Just thinking about the joyous, exhilarating experience brings tears to my eyes.

But slow weight gain and extended jaundice brought on the supplementing recommendations right away. But with the encouragement of my mother and Judy, I held strong. I supplemented but with mommy milk instead of formula. I am very proud of the fact that we have made it to 14 months of nursing and counting! At the beginning, we encountered low milk supply, slower weight gain and nipple confusion, but things gradually got better. By 3 months, things were much easier…and I did not feel like I was struggling with at least one feeding session on a daily basis. By 6 months, I was starting to feel more comfortable and actually enjoy and look forward to nursing my little one. By 7 months, it was a major turning point for me…I actually preferred nursing instead of pumping as pumping had been my comfort zone for so long with my first little one….but all in all we are still nursing and enjoying each day of it (although she has started to self wean the end is in sight which is also bittersweet in itself).

If you are struggling with nursing or pumping, don’t give up! Find the support you need. Support is key in my opinion. I have a couple of close dear friends and a very supportive Mama of my own that encouraged me to keep going when I needed it. And us nursing mamas….we are sure to be there for other nursing mamas! Being a mama is a wonderful and crazy adventure, and sometimes nursing adds to the craziness of this special time. I was reminded exactly what it is like to nurse a newborn after hanging out with a good mama friend of mine this weekend whom is nursing her 2 month old. You soon forget what time is dedicated to nursing especially at the beginning. I feel honored to have friends that I can share this passion with. Obviously, I never thought I would be passionate about boob feeding until I had kids! We were joking about how different our lives are now that we both have 2 kids under 3! An upcoming post will discuss this in more detail!

But back to the specific topic at hand, I am so thankful that I got to supply mama’s milk for both my little ones…no matter how I did it. I know one thing for sure, whatever way you do it, it is worth it! It has been one of the most challenging but rewarding parts of motherhood for me thus far. It is a sacrafice that many mothers make for their babies. And this sacrafice should be praised! Join me in celebrating breastfeeding as we wrap up our special series in honor of 2011 World Breastfeeding Week. Express Yourself as a breastfeeding mama….Express Yourself as a pumping mama….Express Yourself as a boob feeding supporter!