Mommy milk is important to me! So much that after 9 weeks of struggling with nursing my first born dear son, I took on the challenge of exclusively pumping. And I continued eping until I found out I was pregnant with #2 when he was 10 months old and we ran into unending allergy challenges.

I would not describe eping as difficult, although it required a huge commitment of time and worry. The hardest part for me was not knowing if I was doing enough to keep up my supply. The early days were more than hard….the never ending cycles of nursing, pumping, feeding, nursing, pumping, feeding. Battling a low supply, several rounds of thrush, weeks of cracked nipples, out of control hormones, a resented c-section, numerous unsuccessful visits with the lactation consultant and an unhappy baby at every feeding session. The exhaustion and the frustration mounted until I finally made the decision to focus on pumping. The decision was bitter sweet as I now had pure focus which gave me even more determination and motivation to succeed against the odds and what I had heard over and over from the many doctors and nurses. But on the other hand, I also felt as though I had failed myself as a woman and a mother and that I had deprived my baby of the ever special bond that resulted from nursing.

Once the decison was made, I stepped up to the challenge, pumping 12+ times daily in order to build my supply so that I could eliminate formula from our house! It got a lot easier as time went on and it became a big part of my daily routine. And when the time came to hang up the pumping horns, it was even more difficult for me than some of the early days of nursing.

And this next time with my dear daughter it has been much of the same and yet so different. I was obviously better prepared for battle this time. The battle against doctors, others opinions and my own body. This time, I would stand my ground and refuse to supplement. I would have Newman’s ointment, Motherlove, my Moby Wrap and my trusty Medela PISA ready to employ if needed. I would understand that the first month or so would be dedicated to nursing and building a supply at least as much as possible with another toddler at home. This time, things started off on the right foot as I Vbac’ed and got to nurse her immediately following her birth. Just thinking about the joyous, exhilarating experience brings tears to my eyes.

But slow weight gain and extended jaundice brought on the supplementing recommendations right away. But with the encouragement of my mother and Judy, I held strong. I supplemented but with mommy milk instead of formula. I am very proud of the fact that we have made it to 14 months of nursing and counting! At the beginning, we encountered low milk supply, slower weight gain and nipple confusion, but things gradually got better. By 3 months, things were much easier…and I did not feel like I was struggling with at least one feeding session on a daily basis. By 6 months, I was starting to feel more comfortable and actually enjoy and look forward to nursing my little one. By 7 months, it was a major turning point for me…I actually preferred nursing instead of pumping as pumping had been my comfort zone for so long with my first little one….but all in all we are still nursing and enjoying each day of it (although she has started to self wean the end is in sight which is also bittersweet in itself).

If you are struggling with nursing or pumping, don’t give up! Find the support you need. Support is key in my opinion. I have a couple of close dear friends and a very supportive Mama of my own that encouraged me to keep going when I needed it. And us nursing mamas….we are sure to be there for other nursing mamas! Being a mama is a wonderful and crazy adventure, and sometimes nursing adds to the craziness of this special time. I was reminded exactly what it is like to nurse a newborn after hanging out with a good mama friend of mine this weekend whom is nursing her 2 month old. You soon forget what time is dedicated to nursing especially at the beginning. I feel honored to have friends that I can share this passion with. Obviously, I never thought I would be passionate about boob feeding until I had kids! We were joking about how different our lives are now that we both have 2 kids under 3! An upcoming post will discuss this in more detail!

But back to the specific topic at hand, I am so thankful that I got to supply mama’s milk for both my little ones…no matter how I did it. I know one thing for sure, whatever way you do it, it is worth it! It has been one of the most challenging but rewarding parts of motherhood for me thus far. It is a sacrafice that many mothers make for their babies. And this sacrafice should be praised! Join me in celebrating breastfeeding as we wrap up our special series in honor of 2011 World Breastfeeding Week. Express Yourself as a breastfeeding mama….Express Yourself as a pumping mama….Express Yourself as a boob feeding supporter!

Long before I was pregnant I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I remember craving the closeness and dependence my baby would have on me, being able to provide for my child as I had been created to. When I found out I was pregnant I was elated and terrified. I am a Neonatal Intensive Care nurse and have seen a lot of things go wrong in pregnancy and birth. So when my doctor told me I had a bicornuate uterus (uterus with two horns/heart shaped uterus) and would have to have a c-section, I agreed and did what was best for my child though I knew it would be our first hurtle in breastfeeding. When my baby girl, Charlotte, was born, I was insistent she get brought to me as soon as possible in recovery, when she didn’t show up an hour later I knew something was wrong. The doctor came and told me she was having some trouble breathing and they had to give her some oxygen, they were going to monitor her for a little bit but I wasn’t going to be able to feed her right away. So the Golden Hour came and I was disappointed that I could not form that first bond that I had heard so much about in every breastfeeding lesson I had ever received.

Once I finally began breastfeeding Charlotte she was so exhausted from transitioning to her new environment she would only eat for a few minutes before falling asleep, this worried me tremendous amounts and I would ask the nurses a few times a day if her blood sugar was okay. Of course it was but the small amount of milk she seemed to be taking still worried me and the day after we were discharged we went to see our Pediatrician, whom suggested I could supplement if I was worried she wasn’t getting enough but the baby appeared perfectly healthy. And so I put her to breast and supplemented with formula afterwards. I never believed nipple confusion was a real thing, until I started Charlotte on bottles and she started to scream when I tried to put her to breast and refused to latch on to my left breast at all. I gave in and started pumping every 2-3 hours and feeding her just from the bottle. Eventually I got up the nerve to get in contact with a local lactation consultant and she helped me get Charlotte back to breast with a nipple shield. I was happy to use a nipple shield as long as I could feed my baby. We happily used a nipple shield and breastfed for a few months.

So after our rough start and all the months we struggled there was one thing I learned, I am my own worst enemy. I had done nothing to improve the chances of my breastfeeding experience being successful. I took no classes, read no books, I assumed that all the time I had seen lactation consultants work with moms in the NICU was enough, that all that time had taught me everything I could learn. But I was wrong and the moment I realized it I did everything I could to correct my problem and it is never too late, there is always people willing to help and resources out there to improve your breastfeeding relationship and I recommend taking full advantage of as many of them as possible, it can only help!

As our family prepares to celebrate Miss E’s half birthday this weekend, I personally celebrate with a smile to myself and rejoice in the fact that I have been able to successfully nurse (and pump) for my sweet little birdie for the last 6 months!  This a big milestone for us and reason to celebrate!  My experience with number 2 was very different than my experience with my first blessing!

Mommy milk is important to me! So much that after 11 weeks of struggling with nursing my first born, I took on the challenge of exclusively pumping. And I continued eping until I found out I was pregnant with #2 when he was 10 months old.

I would not describe eping as difficult, although it required a huge commitment of time and worry. The hardest part for me was  not the time commitment but rather the not knowing if I was doing enough to keep up my supply. The early days were more than hard….the never ending cycles of nursing, pumping, feeding, nursing, pumping, feeding. Battling a low supply, several rounds of thrush, weeks of cracked nipples, out of control hormones, a resented c-section, numerous unsuccessful visits with the lactation consultant and an unhappy baby at every feeding session. The exhaustion and the frustration mounted until I finally made the decision to focus on pumping. The decision was bitter sweet as I now had pure focus which gave me even more determination and motivation to succeed against the odds and what I had heard over and over from the many doctors and nurses. But on the other hand, I also felt as though I had failed myself as a woman and a mother and that I had deprived my baby of the ever special bond that resulted from nursing.

Once the decison was made, I stepped up to the challenge, pumping 12+ times daily in order to build my supply so that I could eliminate formula from our house! It got a lot easier as time went on and it became a big part of my daily routine. And when the time came to hang up the pumping horns after months of battling with unrelenting food allergies, it was even more difficult for me than some of the early days of nursing.

This time with my dear daughter, it has been much of the same and yet so different. I was obviously better prepared for battle this time. The battle against doctors, others opinions and my own body. This time, I would stand my ground and refuse to supplement. I would have Newman’s ointment and my trusty Medela PISA ready to employ if needed. I would understand that the first month or so would be dedicated to nursing and building a supply. With Miss E, luck was also on our side as things started off on the right foot as I Vbac’ed and got to nurse her immediately following her birth. But slow weight gain and extended jaundice brought on the supplementing recommendations right away. But with the encouragement of my mother and great support from Judy, I held strong. I supplemented but with mommy milk instead of formula. I am very proud of the fact that we have made it to 6 months of nursing! We encountered low milk supply, slower weight gain and nipple confusion in the early months, but things are going really good now and I think I can finally say that I enjoy nursing, and that pumping is no longer my comfort zone! We still have good days and bad days….but all in all we are still nursing and enjoying each day of it!

I know one thing for sure, whatever way you do it, it is worth it! It has been one of the most challenging but rewarding parts of motherhood for me thus far. It is a sacrafice that many mothers make for their babies. And this sacrafice should be praised!

I wanted to write this post to give those mamas that are struggling with breastfeeding the motivation to get through another day/week/month. Talk to Judy…she is amazing! Get the needed encouragement from other mama friends.  It does get easier!  Don’t give up!  Also feel free to share your favorite part of nursing/pumping and providing milk for your little one!